In the name of stupid people

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)


On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with head-s off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?


On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's Superman costume --
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)