another call center experience..2

Travel Centre

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France)
"If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
Breathing

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Right Click

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
Screen Magic

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Time Machine

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?"
Nothing on screen

This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been Promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." .
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power.................................. .... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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another call center experience..

SPELLING BEE
I work in the call center for AOL UK. I once set up an account for a customer. The customer then asked "How do you spell AOL UK?". I said "AOL UK". She said "Oh", and hung up!



CHATTY CUSTOMER
I work in a call center where we offer our customers the option to receive assistance through a chat program that is accessed from our website. A few weeks ago, one of our phone representatives received a call from a customer who informed us that our chat was not working properly. Concerned that we might be having technical difficulties with this important service, the representative asked several questions regarding the type of problem, intending to notify the proper personnel to have the bug fixed. However, the representative realized the root of the problem when the customer described her attempts to chat from her new computer: "I keep talking to it as loud as I can," the frustrated customer emphasized. "It's just not doing anything!" At this point, the representative broke the news to the customer that in order to chat online, one does normally have to type!



STATE OF CONFUSION
I am a supervisor for a directory assistance (411) call center and we have a customer that firmly believes that New England is a state. Here is how these calls would go:

Operator: What city and state please?

Customer: Uhhhh. . . Lincoln, New England.

Operator: I'm sorry, did you say New England was the state?

Customer: Yes, that is what I said.

Operator: Sir, I apologize but New England isn't a state.

Customer: Yes it is, I am reading it off a paper that says "Lincoln, N-E".

Operator: I am sorry sir, but N-E is Nebraska . . .could it be Lincoln, Nebraska?

Customer: Oh yeah, that's what I meant.

It would be funny if it only happened once, but it happens several times a week, which makes it hilarious!

WHERE'S THE REST OF MY ORDER?
I work in the home delivery enquiries (read: complaints) department of a major UK catalogue retailer. A colleague once took a call from an extremely disappointed woman who had purchased a cat gym/scratching post type of thing. In the catalogue, the product is pictured with two little kittens climbing on it. You can probably guess what her complaint was . . . yes, the product had been delivered, but the two cats weren't inside the box!! The advisor explained politely that the picture was for illustration purposes only and that there was no way that we could send live animals via a parcel delivery service, but the customer continued to rant at him, threatening to report the complaint to Trading Standards, the press, her solicitors, etc, etc. If that item is featured again, maybe we should add the phrase 'livestock not included' to the description!!!

YOU TALKING TO ME!
I took this call in a cellular phone call center.
Caller: I can't make outbound calls on my cell phone.
Rep: Do you have the phone with you?
Caller: Yes, I'm talking on it right now.
Rep: The phone is working just fine. You just called me.
The embarrassed caller quickly hung up.

OTIS WITHOUT HIS WARRANTY
I work in the consumer complaint division of an automotive repair company. It's sometimes difficult to resolve consumer issues at a franchise store. (Since it's not corporately owned, we can't force them to take action. We often have to persuade the manager to make good on a poor repair.) One customer complained that our franchise operator wouldn't replace the transmission in his riding lawn mower. I sent an E-mail to the store manager and received this response:

The customer in question is the town drunk. His driver's license has been revoked for years. I wondered why it was showing such wear, but I still replaced the transmission in his mower twice! Recently I discovered him riding it, along the shoulder of the road, to his favorite "watering hole," which is eleven miles away! 11 mile journeys are not a legitimate use of riding mowers, and I am not going to replace his transmission again!

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