Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Monday, December 8, 2008
lucky...im so lucky I have you ma....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Lion embraces friends
Even after he returns to the wild, a city-raised lion remembers where he came from.
PACMAN DeLAHOYA bout...
starting friday Dec. 5, 2008. only members will be privileged to view this site. live streaming of the pacquiao dela hoya bout will be feed on this site. so please register as early as possible. ill be accommodating 150 members only.
Leia Mais…time...a new face as the year ends
bagong mukha ng blog ko...para pagpasok ng susunod na taon. bago din ang dating hehehe...bakit eroplano o sa mas malalim na tagalog...salipawpaw? it is the only means of transportation that is fast,accurate and reliable. yan ang bagong mhyketomahawk sa susunod na taon..
Christmas...long vacation....bonuses...reunions. many people see's this holiday season an exciting one. A time to spend, a time to celebrate.... a time give. Masaya kapag pasko diba? pero sa karamihan satin...panahon ito ng paghihirap. walang panggastos, madaming dapat bayaran. masaya para sa mga mayrong panggastos. masakit sa mga wala. hindi ko alam kung bakit ito ang naglalaro sa isip ko ngayon. dahil siguro sa nakikita ko tuwing umaga bago ako pumasok sa training ko. mag anak na nagkakasya sa silong ng canopy ng establisyemento, mga batang namamalimos sa kalsada pang araw-araw nga problema na sa kanila ang pagkain..pang noche buena pa kaya. ano kaya ang ibig sabihin sa kanila ng pasko.
naisip ko tuloy, sa gabi.bago magpasko...mag iikot kami ng pamilya ko. makapag abot manlang kami kahit konting makakain sa kanila. ito na siguro ang papasko ko sa sarili ko. sana mabigyan ako ng pagkakataon na magwa ito...sana...sana...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Docs liken video game addiction to drug use
A leading council of the nation's largest doctors' group wants to have this behavior officially classified as a psychiatric disorder, to raise awareness and enable sufferers to get insurance coverage for treatment.
In a report prepared for the American Medical Association's annual policy meeting starting Saturday in Chicago, the council asks the group to lobby for the disorder to be included in a widely used mental illness manual created and published by the American Psychiatric Association.
AMA delegates could vote on the proposal as early as Monday.
It likely won't happen without heated debate. Video game makers scoff at the notion that their products can cause a psychiatric disorder. Even some mental health experts say labeling the habit a formal addiction is going too far.
Dr. James Scully, the psychiatric association's medical director, said the group will seriously consider the AMA report in the long process of revising the diagnostic manual. The current manual was published in 1994; the next edition is to be completed in 2012.
Up to 90 percent of American youngsters play video games and as many as 15 percent of them — more than 5 million kids — may be addicted, according to data cited in the AMA council's report.
Joyce Protopapas of Frisco, Texas, said her 17-year-old son, Michael, was a video addict. Over nearly two years, video and Internet games transformed him from an outgoing, academically gifted teen into a reclusive manipulator who flunked two 10th grade classes and spent several hours day and night playing a popular online video game called World of Warcraft.
"My father was an alcoholic ... and I saw exactly the same thing" in Michael, Protopapas said. "We battled him until October of last year," she said. "We went to therapists, we tried taking the game away.
"He would threaten us physically. He would curse and call us every name imaginable," she said. "It was as if he was possessed."
When she suggested to therapists that Michael had a video game addiction, "nobody was familiar with it," she said. "They all pooh-poohed it."
Last fall, the family found a therapist who "told us he was addicted, period." They sent Michael to a therapeutic boarding school, where he has spent the past six months — at a cost of $5,000 monthly that insurance won't cover, his mother said.
A support group called On-Line Gamers Anonymous has numerous postings on its Web site from gamers seeking help. Liz Woolley, of Harrisburg, Pa., created the site after her 21-year-old son fatally shot himself in 2001 while playing an online game she says destroyed his life.
In a February posting, a 13-year-old identified only as Ian told of playing video games for nearly 12 hours straight, said he felt suicidal and wondered if he was addicted.
"I think i need help," the boy said.
Postings also come from adults, mostly men, who say video game addiction cost them jobs, family lives and self-esteem.
According to the report prepared by the AMA's Council on Science and Public Health, based on a review of scientific literature, "dependence-like behaviors are more likely in children who start playing video games at younger ages."
Overuse most often occurs with online role-playing games involving multiple players, the report says. Blizzard Entertainment's teen-rated, monster-killing World of Warcraft is among the most popular. A company spokesman declined to comment on whether the games can cause addiction.
Dr. Martin Wasserman, a pediatrician who heads the Maryland State Medical Society, said the AMA proposal will help raise awareness and called it "the right thing to do."
But Michael Gallagher, president of the Entertainment Software Association, said the trade group sides with psychiatrists "who agree that this so-called 'video-game addiction' is not a mental disorder."
"The American Medical Association is making premature conclusions without the benefit of complete and thorough data," Gallagher said.
Dr. Karen Pierce, a psychiatrist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital, said she sees at least two children a week who play video games excessively.
"I saw somebody this week who hasn't been to bed, hasn't showered ... because of video games," she said. "He is really a mess."
She said she treats it like any addiction and creating a separate diagnosis is unnecessary.
Dr. Michael Brody, head of a TV and media committee at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, agreed. He praised the AMA council for bringing attention to the problem, but said excessive video-game playing could be a symptom for other things, such as depression or social anxieties that already have their own diagnoses. Leia Mais…
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Mga Bagay Gsto Mo Sabihin Sa Boss Mo Pero Hindi Pwede...
1. Ano!? Yan lang di niyo pa kayang gawin at iuutos nyo pa sa akin?
2. Hellooo! Gawin niyo na iyan no para naman huwag niyong makalimutan kung
paano mag-isip.
3. Sir, makinig kaya kayo sa akin!? Pwede?
4. Puwede ba, busy ako? Mamaya na po yan.
5. Gumawa kayo ng sarili niyong presentation!
6. If challenges are more important than financial rewards, then why don't
you just trade in your salary for my challenges?
7. Pwede pong paki-decide kung alin sa 10 inutos niyo sa kin ngayon ang
talagang urgent?
8. Sir, pwede po bang taasan ang sweldo ko?! Ang hirap kasi ng trabaho ko
eh, ang pakisamahan kayo!
9. Bakit po pag kami walang ginagawa pinapagalitan niyo kami? Pero bakit
pag kayo ok lang?
10. Akala niyo ba magaling kayo? Wala lang silang mapiling iba kaya kayo
nilagay diyan sa pwestong yan!
11. Ma'am, ang bait niyo po talaga. Sana kunin na kayo ni Lord.
12. Kung totoong nag-client call kayo patingin ng service report niyo!
13. Sagutin niyo naman yung telepono. A little exercise won't hurt.
14. Sige, gagawin ko po ito. Pero pagtimpla niyo ko ng kape.
15. Shut up when I'm talking to you!
16. Kayo itong may pa-kotse tapos ako uutusan niyo pumunta sa meeting? Ano
kayo, hilo!??
17. Ano?!! Di niyo alam mag-print? Sayang ang laptop niyo.
18. Sir aminin niyo na po, nagpapa-cute lang kayo sa client. Kunyari pa
kayo na binebentahan niyo siya.
19. If you really think it's that important, e di kayo ang gumawa.
20. Sir, palit tayong sweldo!
21. Ang sarap po siguro ng trabaho niyo no? Biro niyo, utos lang kayo nang
utos samin. Ang laki pa ng sweldo!
22. Gusto niyo mag-trabaho naman for a change?
23. Do my work over the weekend?!?! At baket!? Sino kayo para utusan ako?
24. Ngayon na due ito? Eh di kayo gumawa!
25. Can't you see I'm goddamn busy?
26. Asus!! Mage-edit lang hindi pa kaya! Kayo na lang ang mag-edit para
hindi sayang sa oras.
27. Huli kayo! Nanonood din pala kayo ng VCD ha!
28. Sir, lahat po ng kelangan niyo nandyan na. Kelangan niyo lang po
tingnan mabuti!
29. Tsk tsk tsk, yan na nga ba sinasabi ko e. Ayaw nyo kasing makinig sa
akin.
30. Pwede bang sa akin na lang position niyo?
31. Nagtataka talaga ako kung bakit napunta kayo sa puwestong yan.
32. Hay naku, sa dinami-dami naman ng pwedeng maging boss, bakit kayo pa
ang napunta sakin!
33. Basahin niyo muna ang lahat ng email messages niyo bago niyo sabihin na
hindi ko pa nagagawa yung pinapagawa niyo.
34. Hindi po Inday ang pangalan ko, kaya wag po ninyo akong utusan.
35. Hindi po bottomless pit ang inbox nyo. Talagang titirik ang PC nyo kung
hindi kayo magde-delete ng email!
36. Kabit nyo po ba yung prinomote nyo?
37. Aah, sir, crush niyo ba ko? Yung seryoso? Lagi na lang po kasing ako
ang nakikita nyo para utusan eh.
38. Why do you keep on doing this to me?
39. Pwede ba tigilan niyo ko?
40. Kasama ba sa job description ko to?
41. If I do what you tell me to, will this change the world?
42. I'm not sure if it's your good looks, your family connection or your
charming disposition kaya kayo andyan sa puwesto nyo. But I'm definitely
sure it has nothing to do with your intellect.
43. Okay lang umabsent kayo. Buti nga yun para mas maaga kaming
makakapag-lunch e.
44. Ang OA niyo naman. Kino-complicate niyo pa ang mga simpleng problema
para lang magmukha kayong may alam.
45. You're just insecure. Palibhasa, deep down you know you don't deserve
to be the boss of someone whose brilliance you can only dream of!
46. Sir naman, hindi naman po lahat ng tao kasing bobo niyo.
47. Karapatan ko nang umuwi pagpatak ng 5pm, 8 hours lang ang binabayaran
sa akin eh! Karapatan ko ring mag- absent! At karapatan kong ring masulit
ang 1 hour lunch break ko!
48. Ma'am huwag na po kayong mag-English. Lalo lang pong nagiging obvious
ang pagiging tanga niyo.
49. Sa tono ng pananalita nyo, parang naiintindihan ninyo ang pinag-uusapan
namin ah. Galing!!
50. Sana po pwede ko rin kayong i-evaluate, 'no?
51. Kung ano man po ang kasalanan ko ay kasalanan nyo rin. Boss ko kayo eh.
52. Maglinis naman po kayo ng table niyo. Masyado kayong nagpapanggap na
maraming ginagawa e.
53. Hoy! Ikaw! Halika nga rito at tulungan mo ko!
54. Saang planeta po ba kayo nanggaling at hindi ninyo alam ito?
55. Ano naman ang mapapala ko kung gagawin ko to?
56. Bakit ganyan po kayo magsalita? Napo-possess ba kayo ng masamang
espirito?
57. Sir, umabsent naman po kayo paminsan-minsan. Masaya po kasi ang buong
office pag wala kayo eh.
58. Huwag nga kayong makialam samin!
59. Kelan kaya kayo mapapalitan bilang boss namin?
60. Bakit kayo pwedeng umalis ng walang paalam, bakit ako hindi? .
61. Bakit po ba alis kayo nang alis, ba't di nalang pag-isahin ang mga
meeting na yan at kailangang magpabalik-balik kayo don?
62. Pwede po bang wag nyo kong tawagan o i-text ng alas onse ng gabi?
Pinoy nga naman , napaka creative
1. Parlor in San Juan is named "Cut & Face"
2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas:"Starduck"
3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: "Violybee"
4. Internet cafe opened among squatters named "Cafe Pindot"
5. In Manila , there's a laundry named, "Summa Cum Laundry"
6. Petshop in Ortigas: "Pussies and Bitches"
7. A pet shop in Kamuning: "Pakita Mo Pet Mo"
8. Bakery: "Bread Pit"
9. Bank in Alabang: "Alabank"
10. Restaurant in Pampanga named, "Mekeni Rogers"
11. Restaurant in Pasig : "Johnny's Fried Chicken:The Fried of Marikina"
12. A boxing gym: "Blow Jab"
13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: "Lito Lapida"
14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village called "Pakopya ni Edgar"
15. A beerhouse in Cavite called, "Chickpoint"
16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: " Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes"
17. Internet cafe in Taguig named, "n@kopi@"
18. Name of a kambingan, "Sa Goat Kita"
19. A salon somewhere, "Curl Up And Dye"
20. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: "Gee Congee"
21. A water refilling station in Dapitan named "Wa-Thirst"
22. A store selling feeds for chickens:"Robocock"
23. Shoe repair in Marikina : "Dr. Shoe-Bago"
24. Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, "SHOEPERMAN:
We will HEEL you!save your SOLE, and even DYE for you!"
25. Petshop: "Petness First"
26. Flower shop: "Susan's Roses"
27. Taxicab: "Income Taxi"
28. A 2nd hand watch store: "2nd Time Around".
29. A squid stall in a wet market: "Pusit to the Limit"
30. A shrimp store: "Hipon Coming Back"
31. A gay lawyer's extension office: " Nota
32. A ceiling installer: "Kisame Street"
33. A car repair shop: "Bangga ka 'day?"
34. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: "Fish Be With You"
35. A fishball cart named, "Poke Poke"
36. A beauty salon: "Saudia Hairlines"
37. A bakery: "Anak Ng Tinapay"
38. A resto along Mayon road in Manila: "May Lisa Eatery"
39. Laundry shop: "Wash Your Problem"
40. This mobile massage business name isn't funny, but their slogan is:
"Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is watching"
41. Ice cream parlor: "Dila Lang Ang Katapat"
42. Chicharon store: "Chicha Hut"
43. Neighborhood pizza store: "Pizza Hot"
44. A fishball cart near UST: "Eat My Balls"
45. A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: "Pinoy Big Barber"
46. A Resto: "The Last Supper"
47. A goto resto: "Goto Ko Pa!"
48. A peanut vendor's cart with a funny name: "Mani ni Papa"
49. A gym in Malolos: " Gaymann Fitness Center"
50. My brother's party needs business: "Balloon-Balloonan"
51. A Chinese restaurant in Pasig: "Lah-Fang"
52. A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: "Dina Fresh Chicken"
53. An actual bait and tackle shop in U.S.: "The Master Baiter"
54. Panaderia: "Trimonay Bakeshop"
55. Salon: "Hair Dot Comb"
Kung Tinatamad kang magtrabaho
Ano ang dapat gawin kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho
Huwag aabsent.
Huwag male-late.
Pagkaupo mo sa iyong lamesa, buksan isa-isa ang drawer at magkalkal. Kunwari ay may hinahanap.
Pagkatapos mong magkalkal, tumayo ka at tunguhin ang mga filing cabinet. Maghanap ka ng ipis.
Kung wala kang mahanap, tingnan mo ang iyong incoming & outgoing tray. Kalkalin at maghanap ng mga natira sa iyong mga kinutkot kahapon. Huwag kakainin muli. Labag sa kagandahang asal. Kung naglalaway ka sa mga iyon ay kunin mo ang nagamit mong tissue paper na nailagay mo sa iyong front drawer at ipunas sa laway mo. Pagkatapos ay ilagay muli sa drawer. Maaari mo pang magamit iyon bukas. Malaking katipiran sa iyo.
Kung biglang dumating ang iyong boss, hawakan kaagad ang telepono at magsalita. Kunwari ay
tinatanong ka ng iyong kausap tungkol sa mga dokumento. Sumagot ka ng "Oh! I am sorry but I will bring that to your office immediately." Kumuha kaagad ng kahit anong folder at magpaalam ng maayos at buong giliw sa iyong boss. Lumabas ng nagmamadali.
Pumunta ka sa CR. Magsuklay. Tingnan mabuti ang sarili. Mag-retouch kung babae. Tingnan kung baligtad ang underwear na naisuot at kung lalaki, maghilamos at basain ng konti ang buhok. Magtiris ng mga taghiyawat. Magtagal ng mga limang minuto.
Pagkabalik mo sa iyong opisina, buksan ang computer. Hintaying matapos ang Auto Scan. Marami ring minuto ang magugugol dito. Magbukas ng isang file... Isa pa... at isa pa uli...!!! Pumunta sa ccmail, tingnan ang inbox kung may hindi pa nababasa. Magbasa. Kunwari ay bagong pasok ka lamang sa Grade One.
Pagkatapos ay kunin ang mga dapat gawing report. Titigang mabuti. Pag-aralan ang klase ng papel na ginamit. Bilangin kung ilang words ang nagamit.
Kung may tumawag sa telepono, kaagad sagutin. Huwag mong hayaang ibaba kaagad ng kausap.
Kumustahin. Tanungin tungkol sa mga National Issues katulad ng tungkol sa mga jokes kay Erap o kaya ang pagkamatay ni Rudy Fernandez. Kumustahin din ang latest style ng kanyang damit pati na kung saan nagpapa-manicure at pedicure. Huwag lalagpas ng isang oras ang pakikipag-usap. Magagalit ang iyong boss.
Kung may report na tatapusin, tapusin ng eksakto sa deadline hour. Kung may ita-type, magtype ng 10 wpm.
Tunguhin ang mga file na inipon sa loob ng ilang araw. Ayusin isa-isa habang ini-imagine ang sarili na sumasahod ng 15,000 pesos isang buwan. Huwag tatapusin. Magtira ng para sa ilang araw na gawain.
Palaging magtungo sa CR. Kunwari ay may LBM. Palagi ring bumisita sa ibang department,
makipagchikahan.
Huwag mong titingnan ang iyong relo habang ginagawa mo ang lahat ng nasa itaas. Kapag ginawa mo iyon ay lalo kang maiinip. Hayaang mag-enjoy ang sarili sa iyong katamaran. Magugulat ka na lamang na "time" na pala para umuwi.
Ayusin ang lamesa na para bang napakarami ng iyong trinabaho. At bago umuwi, dumaan ng CR. Tingnan at hipuin ang mukha kung gaano kakapal. Huwag pansinin ang mga kasamahan na mula umaga ay tingin ng tingin sa iyo. Hindi naman sila ang nagpapasuweldo.
Pork and beans daw oh
Isang araw, Tinawag ni Inay si Boy, ang batang ngo-ngo.
Inay: Boy, magpunta ka sa tindahan ni Aling Petra at bumili ka ng isang latang Pork & Beans!
Boy: Omo, inay!
Nagtungo si Boy Ngo Ngo sa tindahan ni Aling Petra. Tatlong bundok ang kaniyang nilakad. Pagdating ni Boy sa tindahan ay binati niya ang tindera.
Boy: Aning Metra, ngamuta na mo ngayo? (Kamusta na po kayo?)
Aling Petra: Mabuti naman. Ano ang kailangan mo Boy??
Boy: Mangmilan nga mo ng inang lata ng Mo e Meen! (Pagbilhan nga po ng isang lata ng Pork n Beans)
Aling Petra: Ano kamo, Boy?
Boy: Isa mong Mo e Meen (Isa pong Pork n Beans)
Aling Petra: Paki-ulit nga Boy at hindi kita maintindihan.
Boy: Mo e Meen! Mo e Meen - nyung nata lata! (Pork n Beans! Pork n Beans! Yung nasa lata!)
Aling Petra: Hindi talaga kita maintindihan. Mabuti pa kaya ay i-spell mo na lang sa akin.
Boy: O ninge. Mo e Meen. Netter Mi. (O sige. Pork n Beans. Letter.)
Aling Petra: Letter ?B? ba?
Boy: Ine! Netter Mi as in Minimines. (Hindi! Letter ?P? as in Philippines)
Aling Petra: Ha???
Boy: Mi! (Kinanta ni Boy ang alphabet) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee..En, Em, En, O, Mi! - - Mi!
Aling Petra: Ahhh, P! Letter P! (Masiglang sagot ni Aling Petra.)
Boy: Oo. Mi! Mo e Meen! (Oo! Pi! Pork n Beans!)
Aling Petra : Sige ituloy mo Boy. ?P??
Boy: Ngo! (O!)
Aling Petra: Ano kamo?
Boy: (Kumanta ulit) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee? En, Em, En, Ngo!
Aling Petra: Ahhh, titik O! P-O. Sige ituloy mo pa!
Boy: Netter Arrng (Letter R)
Aling Petra: Kantahin mo na lang ulit Boy.
Boy: Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee? En, Em, En, O, Mi, Ngyu, Arrng!
Aling Petra: Ahhh! Letter R. Malapit na. ?P-O-R?? Hindi ko pa rin makuha, Boy. Anong letter ang susunod?
Boy: Ngey.
Aling Petra: Letter A?
Boy: Ini ho! (Sabay buntung-hininga si Boy) Ngey! A, Ma, Nga (A-Ba-Ka-Da ang kinanta)! Nga!?
Aling Petra: Ka! Letter ?K? ?P-O-R-K? Ahhh Pork!!!
Boy: Oo!!! Mo e Meen!
Aling Petra: Pork and?
Boy: Oo!! Mo e Meen!!!
Aling Petra: Pork and Meen? Ahhhh!!! Alam ko na!!! Pork and Beans!!!
Boy: Oo! Oo!! Mo e Meen!! Mo e Meen!!!!? ang masayang sigaw ni Boy.
Aling Petra: Pork and Beans pala ang kailangan mo!!!
Boy: Oo. Mo e Meen!
Aling Petra: Hay nako!!!? Wala!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Im Backkk!!!
mejo matagal din ako d masyado nakapag post, busy daming virus na iniimbento para mabili mga antivirus nila. hayys, tao talaga..... ok lang na mkaabala ng kapwa kumita lang ng pera.
Leia Mais…Wednesday, August 13, 2008
kxvo.exe removal
try this procedure:
- Open Task Manager and in Processes tab end explorer.exe and wscript.exe process
- Open up File –> New Task (Run) in the Task manager
- Type cmd and hit Enter
Type
del /a:h /f c:\autorun.*
if you have multiple drive/partition, repeat this step to all drive/partition, make replacing “C:” with the appropriate drive letter.
- Go to your Windows\System32 directory by typing cd c:\windows\system32
Type dir /a:h /f hbq*.*
- If you see any files named hbq0.dll or hbq0.exe or hbo.exe, use the
Del /a:h /f avp*.exe
Del /a:h /f avp*.dll
to delete.
- Open up File –> New Task (Run) in the Task manager, Type regedit
- Navigate to:
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run
If there are any entries for kxvo.exe, delete them. Also delete all suspicious items
- Do a complete search of your registry for ntdelect.com or hbq.exe or kxvo.exe and delete any entries you find.
- To Restore Folder Options (“Show hidden files & folders”) Settings, Navigate to
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\
Explorer\Advanced\Folder\Hidden\SHOWALL
- Look at the “CheckedValue” key… This should be a DWORD key. If it isn’t, delete the key. Create a new key called “CheckedValue” as a DWORD (hexadecimal) with a value of 1. The “Show hidden files & folders” check box should now work normally.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
mumunting pangaral ng mga magulang
ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga
magulang.
1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa
labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."
2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:
"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"
3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC:
"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."
4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC:
"Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa
ang manonood ng sine."
5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig
sabihin ng IRONY:
"Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng
iiyakan mo!"
6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang
CONTORTIONISM:
"Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan
mo!!!"
7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig
sabihin ng STAMINA:
"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo nauubos lahat ng
pagkain mo!"
8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang
WEATHER:
"Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong
magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"
9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa
CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito,
maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."
10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION:
"Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang
Nanay mo!"
11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin
ng GENETICS:
"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!"
12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong
ibig sabihin ng ENVY :
"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo
nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad
namin?"
13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION:
"Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa
bahay!"
14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong
ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING:
"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!"
15. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang
HUMOR:
"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong
lawnmower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at
lulumpuhin kita!"
16. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina
Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE:
"Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak...tiyak
magiging katulad mo at magiging sakit din sa ulo!"
Saturday, August 9, 2008
joke time
Sa Math Class…
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay sus maryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!
SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?
ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANK TRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yun pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!!!
Honeymoon…
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM: Kaya mo ito. Di ba dati may alaga kang ahas?
BRIDE: Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!
BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali! Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di ‘nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!
Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman…
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi… PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
(Sa loob ng Mall)
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
Jowa: Ang pangit pang it naman!
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since…
JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?
NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porke bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you’ll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
Things you don’t want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago ? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
inspiring quote of the day:
“hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko.”
‘dear te, dear te, dear te!!!’
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang
naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.
MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you’re pretty ugly.
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma’am! Ako ma’am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
On a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!
1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga churva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah bay .
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na,
huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako.
Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay!
Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!
SON: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba’y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba’y di pa ba nila nakikita?
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede? “uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir!
apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!…. ……
Imagine if all straight guys are talking in gay lingo.
STUDENT: bakit di mo chinurva yung girlalu? Malaki naman ang susey ng lola
mo ah.
HUNK: Winnie cordero nga dude sa susey, Melanie marquez naman sa
brainwaves. Wit na.
Jaworski while coaching: keber sa kalaban! Just focus! We cannot afford to
luz valdez ! Getlakin niyo yung last freethrow! Windangin yung mga julaban!
Ok! Go for the gold to the highest level mga chorva! Gow lang! gow lang ng
gow!
BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!
A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo’t pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
BOY: is this your first time?
GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me the same question.
Paulit-ulit. Hmp!
Magsyota sa motel.
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!
PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po?
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po!
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!
Sa kasalan
Pari: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo.
Groom: eto po ang P5, father
Tinignan ni Father ang bride
Pari: eto ang P4 sukli mo iho…
Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer.
Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!
Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.
Erap: Sobrang dami ng characters wala naman istorya.
Librarian: Ay, kayo pala ang kumuha ng telephone directory namin!
JAIME ZOBEL de AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pork
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 Gulay
GMA: 1/2….. ONLY…..
SA OSPITAL…..
WIFE: Hon, nahihirapan na akong huminga
HUSBAND: Aba! kung nahihirapan ka ng huminga e itigil mo na.
GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!
INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi?
ANAK: ‘you only have zero pesos in your account…’ hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.
nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita nanloloko lang siya
dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!
ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments?
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos.
ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Di yos eh!
NANAY: bakit?
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!
thought to ponder:
hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay pinutol niya lahat ng puno
para gumawa ng napakalaking arko? ano sa tingin mo?
PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?
PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon.
kung totoo ang ‘ Darwin ’s theory of evolution’ na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?
DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan.
PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.
DORAY: bakit mare?
PINANG: virgin pa kasi ako.
Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: ha y salamat. Akala ko bago.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
a pinch of life
The purpose of friendship is not to have someone who might complete you. But to have someone whom you might share your incompleteness with
Leia Mais…Tuesday, July 15, 2008
a pinch of life
Hardships in life are existing to test how far we can stand them. Never give up! They are the shadows which will remold us to become stronger than we used to be.
Leia Mais…kwento ng QA sa Call Center 2
Customer trying to verify some transactions on her account:
Customer: what was the transaction for $80.00?
Agent: That was for Macy's
Customer: I'm sorry, what was that again? Can you spell it for me?
Agent: M as in Mama, A as in Alpha C in Churva..
Customer Interrupting: what? What churva?
Agent: Churva, you know…it's a Gay Lingo
Customer interested with one of our products:
Agent: thank you for calling
Customer: I interested with one of your savings account…
Agent: Sure..what is it?
Customer: Can I still use the School Savings account during summer?
Agent: Can I put you on hold for a moment to check on that? Thank you
Agent asked TL
Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info:
Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir?
Customer: My what?!!
Telesales agent giving promo spiels:
Agent: You called at the right time, ma'am. We have a lot of freebies to give away, such as free installation, free equipment, and free DVD player. That's a great offer, di ba?
Customer: huh?!
Agent verifying info from the customer:
Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...
Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer:
Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer?
Customer: What?
Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard?
Customer: What? Could you repeat that?
Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that.
Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!
kwento ng QA sa Call Center
TSR: “Alright, we’re going to perform a checkdisk. That is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K…”
Customer: “What is that again?”
TSR: “C-H-K-D-S-K…that is… C as in Charlie…H as in Harley…K as in Karley…D as in Darley…S as in Sarley…and K as in Karly.”
CSR: “I was hoping you can take this survey with me. Would you have the time to do that, sir?”
Customer: “How long is this gonna to take?”
CS: “Mmm.. MGA three minutes….”
*slip of the vernacular*
TSR: “It’s C as in CAT.”
Customer: “What?”
TSR: “C as in CAT. C-A-T…meow meow…”
Josue: Here with our company, you’ll get clear voice quality…there no
zzzzhhhoooommmm(Pertaining to static) Bigla ba naman gumamit ng SFX…..
CX: That’s Great!
___________
Josue: It’s Very easy to install. Its like eating french fries as easy as one , two, three.
____________
Josue: THank you for having business with us. Have a nice Life!
________
CSA: Thats N for
Customer: whats liempoh?
________
TSR: 0kay sir, Let's check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0 g0 0nLine n0w...
CUST: yes... (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng HAPON na it0... )
TSR: type in www.yahoo.com
CUST: what? yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... yahoo.com...
CUST: yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... com... C-O-M
CUST: cot?
TSR: (asar na) .com sir!
CUST: aahhh... yahoo.cot.
_______________
CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)
_______________
CS: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm... how about "B" as in boy...
(good choice...)
----------------------------------
CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou get git?)
----------------------------------
CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there?
Cust: Yes, yes, I'm there!
(siguro naglalaro sila ng Counter...)
----------------------------------
CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?
Cust: Huh?... Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER here...
(... makes sense to me!!!)
----------------------------------
TS: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!
TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir... Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?...
(klap! klap! klap!)
----------------------------------
ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)
----------------------------------
CS: ...That's E as in I-KOW... (echo)
(oki lang yan, Dong...)
----------------------------------
CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
(negro siguro kausap neto...)
----------------------------------
TS: Ok, sir, this is ano... what you'll do... you have to type the ano...the command run and ano...
(...teypows enow???)
----------------------------------
Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
CS: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule...
(... I can PEEL it!!!)
----------------------------------
CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please???
Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE...
(ay shyet, ulet!!!)
----------------------------------
local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas...
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote... tsk, tsk, tsk...)
----------------------------------
TS: Ok, sir... Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?...
(... lemme try...)
----------------------------------
Cust (US): So how's the weather there?
CS: Well... it's kinda cloudy today, sir...
Cust: Oh really?!!!... So where are you located?
CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!...
(... dats nir
Leia Mais…
a pinch of life
God's way is Best: One day I asked God a bunch of beautiful flowers. But, instead, He gave me a cactus with thorns. Later, I asked Him to give me butterflies, But instead, He give me worms. I was disappointed and I wept. But few days after, I noticed that the cactus bloomed with beautiful flowers and the worms soon became butterflies. God wants us to wait for the right time for He knows He gives only what is best.
Leia Mais…Amiga lasing, pauwi sumakit ang tiyan nila at sa simenteryo inabutan. Ang isa, ginamit ang panty pamunas saka tinapon. Yung isa, nakakakita ng wreath sa puno at ginawang pamunas. Kinabukasan, sabi ng mga asawa nila:
Juan: Pre bantayan natin mga misis natin. Misis ko umuwi kagabi walang panty.
Nick: Mas grabe misis ko! Meron card na nakadikit sa pwet, may nakasulat. "We'll never forget you. From all the Guys of the Sales Department."
******
(Sa Math class) Titser: Juan, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang at 5 ulit sa pangalawa, samakatuwid meron akong?
Juan: Taglay na kalandian mam...
Sunday, July 13, 2008
a pinch of life
Sweet words are easy to say; Nice things are easy to buy; But good people are difficult to find. Life ends when you stop dreaming; Hope ends when you stop believing; Love ends when you stop crying; Friendship ends when you stop sharing. So share this with whoever you consider as a friend. To love with condition. To talk without intention. To give without reason. And to care without expectation.
Leia Mais…Thursday, July 10, 2008
tawa muna kasabay ng pagtaas ng pamasahe sa pinas
Titser at estudyante
A philosopher challenges a student
Titser: Class, See is to believe. Have u seen God?
Students: No, Sir!
Titser: You didn't see, You didn’t believe.
Students: Titser have u seen ur brain?
Titser: No
Students: Uwi na tayo my dear classmate, Walang utak si Sir.
* * *
Dalawang holdaper sa bangko...
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo! Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na! Holdaper: ga*o! Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!
baliw........
Nakita ko yung 1 baliw merong dahon sa ulo.Tinanong ko yung baliw, ang sabi ko, “bakit meron kang dahon sa ulo?” Baliw 1: Ahhh. kasi ako si Francisco Balagtas... Sabi ko...ah...OK
Nakita ko naman yung pangalawang baliw...merong hawak na laruang itak na nakataas pa ang kamay...Tinanong ko yung baliw 2, ang sabi ko, “bakit meron kang laruang itak at nakataas pa ang kamay mo?Baliw 2: Ahhh. kasi ako si Andress Bonifacio... Sabi ko: ah...OK
Kaya ang ginawa ko eh lumapit ako sa Doctor…
Sabi ko: Doc. Good afternoon po, magtatanong lang po sana ako kung bakit mga bayani ang laman ng isip ng mga baliw dito?
Doctor: Ah...iho kasi masyado naapektuhan ang mga utak nila ng ating mga bayani... Sabi ko: Ah.. Ganun po ba Dok..cge po Thank you... ahh... Doctor ano nga po pala name mo? Doctor: Ako po si doctor Jose Rizal...
* * *
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage, Eddie Gil commented, Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!?
* * *
Pedro: Pare, sobrang taba talaga ng misis ko kaya’t gusto niyang magbawas ng timbang.
Pablo: Sabihin mo sa misis mo maghorse back riding siya.
Makaraan ang dalawang buwan…
Pablo: Kumusta naman ang resulta ng horseback riding?!
Pedro: Nabawasan ng 40kilos ang kabayo!!!
* * *
Pepe: Daddy, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
Daddy: Ha? Aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?
a pinch of life
The world is God's creation and we belong to the Lord, And everything around us is made up of His love. So open your heart to Jesus and put your trust in Him.
Leia Mais…Wednesday, July 9, 2008
pagkakaiba ng mayaman sa mahirap
1.) Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy" Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang"
2.) Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress" Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"
3.) Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac" Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"
4.) Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric" Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad"
5.) Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine" Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom"
6.) Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic" Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"
7.) Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "kayumanggi" Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga" o "tsimay"
8.) Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay "petite" Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot" o "unano" o "jabbar"
9.) Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump" Kapag mahirap ka at ika'y mataba, "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba"... pagminamalas ka, "baboy"
10.) Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay "game" Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pam-pam"
11.) Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated" Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi" o "haliparot" o "halipandas" o "dalahira"
14.) Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent" Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada"
15.) Ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain, "vegetarian" Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na kumakain ng damo."
16.) Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa kanila ay "walang hiya" o "walang modo" o "bastos"
17.) Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully into senior citizenhood" Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang"
18.) Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner" Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong"
19.) Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says, "masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking" Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your host will say to himself na ikaw ay "patay-gutom" o "hampaslupa" o "masiba"
20.) Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa PC mo, "okay lang" Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay" nagbubulakbol"... hala ka , nasa likod mo ang boss mo
American vs Filipino Names
Leon Mangubat ----- Tiger Woods
Rogelio Dagdag ----- Roger Moore
Francisco Portero ----- Frank Porter
Bienvenido Jurado ----- Ben Hur
Juan Tampipi ----- John Samsonite
Restituto Fruto ----- Tutti Frutti
Casimiro Bocaycay ----- Cashmere Boquet
Veneracio de Asis ----- Alzheimer's Disease
Topacio Mamaril ----- Top Gun
Eliuterio Ignacio ----- Electronic Ignition
Juanito Lakarin ----- Johnny Walker
Esteban Pagtakhan ----- Stevie Wonder
Burgos Reyes ----- Burger King
Ligaya Almundo ----- Joy Totheworld
Maria Natividad ----- Mary Christmas
Ligaya Anonuevo ------ Happy NewYear
Federico Hagibis ------ Federal Express
Wonder of human brain
Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn"t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are. The olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Heaven and Hell
What is the comparisoin between heaven... and hell...????. Heaven .....is like eating a a chinese food…..driving a german car…..having an american salary and heaven is married to a Filipina wife.
What Hell.... is??? driving a chinese car…eating a german food…married to an american wife and having a Filipino salary.
kwento ng isang OFW
Dalawa lang silang mag-ina sa Amerika at hinihintay nila ang pag dating ng pamilya nila. Pero unfortunately while they were waiting, the mother died. The family in the
Ng dumating na sa Pilipinas ang kanilang ina, may napansin ang pamilya na hindi maganda. Ang mukha at katawan ng inay nila ay dikit na dikit na sa salamin ng kabaong. Sabi tuloy ng isa, "Ay tingnan mo yan, hindi sila marunong mag asikaso ng patay sa Amerika". To cut the story short they prepared the coffin for viewing. Pag bukas ng takip (salamin) ng coffin, may napansin silang sulat sa baba ng dibdib ng kanilang inay.
Dahan-dahan kinuha at nangi-nginig na binukasan ni Kuya (panganay na anak)
ang sulat at binasa sa lahat ng buong pamilya. Ang nilalaman ng sulat ay ito: "Mahal Kong mga Kapatid, Hayan na si Inay!!!
Pasyensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang inay sa pag-uwi diyan sa Pilipinas sa dahilan na napaka-mahal ng pamasahe. Ang gastos ko na nga lang sa kanya ay kulang-kulang sa sampung libo (kabaong at shipment). Ayoko ng isipin pa ang eksaktong halaga.
Anyway, pinadala ko kasama ni inay ang dalawampu't apat na karne norte na nasa likod ni Inay. Maghati-hati na kayo. anim na bagong labas na Reebok sneakers...isa suo-suot ni Ninay...and lima nasa ulunan ni Inay...isa-isa na kayo riyan. iba't ibang klaseng tsokokate, nasa puwit ni Inay...maghati-hati na kayong lahat... anim na Ralph Lauren na t-shirts suot-suot ni Inay...para sa iyo, Kuya, at
isa-isa ang mga pamangkin ko. isang dosenang Wonderbra na gustong-gusto ninyo, mga kapatid ko, suot suot din ni Inay. Maghati-hati na kayo riyan. dalawang dosenang Victoria Secret na panties na inaasam-asam ninyo, suot-suot din ni Inay. Maghati-hati na rin kayo, Ate......
walong Dockers na pantalon suot-suot din ni Nanay...Kuya, Diko, isa-isa na kayo, at mga pamangkin ko. ang Rolex na hinahabilin mo, Kuya, eh suot-suot din ni Inay. Kunin mo na. ang hikaw, singsing at kuwintas na gustong-gusto mo, Ate, eh suot-suot din ni Inay. Kunin mo na. mga Chanel na medyas, suot suot din ni Inay. Tig-i tig-isa na kayo at mga pamangkin ko. Bahala na kayo kay Inay. Pamimisahan ko na lang siya dito. Balitaan niyo na lang ako pagkatapos ng libing.
Nagmamahal na kapatid,
Nene
Song Translation
Did u know that some English song titles can sound
so funny and outrageous when translated
in Tagalog?
Here are some of them:
1.Imagine - Mantakin mo
2.Bluer Than Blue - Malapit na sa Hukay
3.Tonight's The Night - Patay kang Bata ka
4.Hey Jude - Hoy Hudas!
5.Power of Love - Buntis
6.Three Times a Lady - Super Bakla
7.More Than A Woman - Tomboy (T-Bird)
8.Can't Be With You Tonight - Meron Ako Ngayon
9.Don't Let Me Be The Last to Know - Huwag mo kong
Gawing Tanga
10.You Should Know By Now - Alam Mo Na Dapat
Ngayon
Yan, Tanga!
11.Sometimes When We Touch - Minsan Kapag Tayo'y
Naghihipuan
12.Touch Me In The Morning - Hipuan mo Ako sa
Umaga
13.Stairway To Heaven - Mula Paa Hanggang Singit
14.Got To Believe In Magic - Walang Himala
15.Total Eclipse Of The Heart - Maitim ang Puso
16.King & Queen Of Hearts - Tong-it Na ko Sa Jack
17.Wind Beneath My Wings - Hengin Sa Ilelim Ng
Eking Pek2
18.Baby One More Time - Isa Pa - Masarap Eh!
19.Macho Man - Walang ganyan sa opis
20.Pretty Woman - Walang pa ring ganyan sa opis
21.How Deep Is Your Love - Gaano Kalalim Yang Sayo
DNA
DNA is a nucleic acid that is localized in cell nuclei and consists of two long chains of nucleotides twisted together into a doble helix and joined by hydrogen bonds between complementary bases adenine and thymine or cytosine and guanine; it carries the cell's genetic information and hereditary characteristics via the sequence of its nucleotides. Thus, people are identified by their unique DNAs, such as:
Prostitute: DNAvirgin
Old Maid: DNAgamit
Bachelor: DNAkasal
Arab: DNAahit
Water Conservationist: DNAliligo
Bin Laden: DNAhanap at DNAhuli
Gloria Macapagal Arroyo: DNAamin at DNAimpeach
Town Fiesta: DNAdayo
Loser: DNAya
Uncircumcised: DNAtuli
Pandak: DNAtumangkad
Not Good Looking: DNAbale
Uncontrollable Child: DNAkinig
Monday, July 7, 2008
a pinch of life
When God is going to do something wonderful, He begins with difficulty. If its going to be something very wonderful, He begins with impossibility. Always believe and never quit.
Leia Mais…Sunday, July 6, 2008
a pinch of life
Life is an undying cycle. It is a battle of survival. If you quit, then you're a loser. If you fall, then stand up. If you keep on complaining about the miseries of your life, nothing will happen. God doesn't throw stones that we cannot catch. Live with Him and everything will turn out right.
Leia Mais…Saturday, July 5, 2008
a pinch of life
It hurts like hell to pretend that your happy when deep inside,
Your dying...
It takes a lot of effort to flash a smile when all you wanna do is break down and cry.
the saddest part of it all is you wanna end the torment yet your heart just keeps on holding on.
Living in an illusion that there's still hope when all you've got were just ashes of joke.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Isa kang HENYO!!!
A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls into the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
KILALA MO BA SI RIZAL?
Guro: Ikaw, Juan, sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: ' Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw, Pepe, sino si Jose Rizal?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala.
Guro: Di niyo kilala si Jose Rizal?!
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang section siya!
real-life recruitment bloopers
What do you know about the call center Industry?
Applicant: The call ctr. industry is booming out,
side by side, somewhere else. (Huuuwhaaat?)
Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for
the past few days and I want to become part of
that boom! (sumabog ka sana!)
Applicant: It's easy to be a call center, just looks
arounds you, that why i want to become a call
center! (building ito!)
Out of nowhere:
Applicant: Oh im sorry, i sit corrected. (oo nga
naman, nakaupo sha eh!)
Applicant: Im afraid to dead. I feel that im not
ready to die.
Applicant: I usually play PS2 at night when there
is no loud.
Recruiter: You look familiar. I think i already spoke
to you before? Do you remember when you were
last here?
Applicant: I think months from now. (psychic ito!)
Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call
center?
Applicant: From Manila Bulletin. (ang gulo... i drug
test nyo na to')
Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do
you want to work here?
Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a
course of blahblah..... (out...out...out....)
Applicant: I'm a work alcoholic.
Applicant: I'm the eldest and the only child in our
family. (arrrgggghhh...ADIK KA!)
Applicant: I'm a hardworking...(yes..please
continue...)
another stupid labels
On a blanket from
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists.
REMEMBER,OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese Shampoo.
USE RESPECTEDLY FOR SECURE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of (
AFTER OPENING,KEEP UPRIGHT.
ON A New Zealand insect spray.
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
On a Japanese product use to relieve painful haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO
ANAL DUCT.WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES,KEEP QUIET.
In some countries,on the botton of Coke bottles.
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins.
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer.
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of fruits.
YOU COULD BE A WINNER!NO PURCHASE NECESSARY DETAILS INSIDE.
On a Korean kitchen knife.
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box.
FITS ONE HEAD
Friday, June 20, 2008
Kwentong inday part 2
Ma'am / Sir,
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons, I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience afforded to me during my stay in Your company.
Yours Truly,
Inday
Sulat ni inday nang umalis sya sa dati nyang amo
1) I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity,
productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
offer will boost the work progress.
- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!
2) Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered
architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium
with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
3) The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
4) Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
- nangatwiran lng si Inday
5) "It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"
- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.
6) Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc
to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading
for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
- sagot ni Inday
7) Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages
and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted
upon you!
- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
8) Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but
because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay.
Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand
you for doing so.
- sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA
9. AMO: Inday, Bakit mo bineneta ung sirang silya?
INDAY: I computed the chair?s fair value less cost to sell and the
value in use using projections for 5 years at a pretax discount rate.
Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair.
This is in accordance with PAS 18-Revenue, PAS 16-Property, Plant, &
Equipment, and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.
AMO: (Hinimatay)
From : Asero26.com
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Kwentong Inday
Inday...lagot ka..
A guy dials his home phone number and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the woman.
"We don't have a maid," says the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
The maid says, "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down and the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."
The man pauses for a moment and says, "Ummmm… Is this 567-5309?"
INDAY The sosyal type
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
Ano LAban KA?!!
SOSYALERANG PULUBI
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
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