A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls into the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Isa kang HENYO!!!
KILALA MO BA SI RIZAL?
Guro: Ikaw, Juan, sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: ' Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw, Pepe, sino si Jose Rizal?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala.
Guro: Di niyo kilala si Jose Rizal?!
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang section siya!
real-life recruitment bloopers
What do you know about the call center Industry?
Applicant: The call ctr. industry is booming out,
side by side, somewhere else. (Huuuwhaaat?)
Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for
the past few days and I want to become part of
that boom! (sumabog ka sana!)
Applicant: It's easy to be a call center, just looks
arounds you, that why i want to become a call
center! (building ito!)
Out of nowhere:
Applicant: Oh im sorry, i sit corrected. (oo nga
naman, nakaupo sha eh!)
Applicant: Im afraid to dead. I feel that im not
ready to die.
Applicant: I usually play PS2 at night when there
is no loud.
Recruiter: You look familiar. I think i already spoke
to you before? Do you remember when you were
last here?
Applicant: I think months from now. (psychic ito!)
Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call
center?
Applicant: From Manila Bulletin. (ang gulo... i drug
test nyo na to')
Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do
you want to work here?
Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a
course of blahblah..... (out...out...out....)
Applicant: I'm a work alcoholic.
Applicant: I'm the eldest and the only child in our
family. (arrrgggghhh...ADIK KA!)
Applicant: I'm a hardworking...(yes..please
continue...)
another stupid labels
On a blanket from
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists.
REMEMBER,OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese Shampoo.
USE RESPECTEDLY FOR SECURE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of (
AFTER OPENING,KEEP UPRIGHT.
ON A New Zealand insect spray.
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
On a Japanese product use to relieve painful haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO
ANAL DUCT.WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES,KEEP QUIET.
In some countries,on the botton of Coke bottles.
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins.
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer.
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of fruits.
YOU COULD BE A WINNER!NO PURCHASE NECESSARY DETAILS INSIDE.
On a Korean kitchen knife.
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box.
FITS ONE HEAD
Friday, June 20, 2008
Kwentong inday part 2
Ma'am / Sir,
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons, I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience afforded to me during my stay in Your company.
Yours Truly,
Inday
Sulat ni inday nang umalis sya sa dati nyang amo
1) I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity,
productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
offer will boost the work progress.
- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!
2) Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered
architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium
with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
3) The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
4) Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
- nangatwiran lng si Inday
5) "It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"
- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.
6) Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc
to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading
for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
- sagot ni Inday
7) Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages
and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted
upon you!
- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
8) Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but
because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay.
Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand
you for doing so.
- sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA
9. AMO: Inday, Bakit mo bineneta ung sirang silya?
INDAY: I computed the chair?s fair value less cost to sell and the
value in use using projections for 5 years at a pretax discount rate.
Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair.
This is in accordance with PAS 18-Revenue, PAS 16-Property, Plant, &
Equipment, and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.
AMO: (Hinimatay)
From : Asero26.com
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Kwentong Inday
Inday...lagot ka..
A guy dials his home phone number and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answers the woman.
"We don't have a maid," says the man.
The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."
The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
The maid says, "What will I have to do?"
The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts the phone down and the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"
The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."
Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."
The man pauses for a moment and says, "Ummmm… Is this 567-5309?"
INDAY The sosyal type
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
Ano LAban KA?!!
SOSYALERANG PULUBI
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
Monday, June 16, 2008
pagkakaiba ng bata noon at ngayon
halos isang buwan din akong di nakapagsulat....mejo busy....halos isang buwan kong pinag aralan kung panu kumita sa blog...isang buwan..ngumit hanggang ngayon ay bigo pa din ako kaya eto. nakakakita nanaman ako ng mga bagay-bagay sa aking paligid.
Noon
ang sagot sa matanda ay 'po" at "opo"
Ngayon
ang sagot samatanda ay OO at hindi!!!!!sabing hindi nga!!!
Noon
Kapag nadapa.......
ano nasaktan ka ba? may sugat ka?
Ngayon
Kapag nadapa.......
wahahaha...ano tatanga-tanga ka eh
Noon
mama/papa pahingi po ng beintesinko pambili ng kendi......salamat po
Ngayon
mama/papa pahingi ng seven hundred pambili ng tsinelas.....salamat DUDE
Noon
6:00 pm....uwi na ko...magagalit momi ko eh
Ngayon
5:00 am....ALAK PaHH!!
Noon
estudtyante...........syettt nakalimutan ko gawin ang assignment ko!!!
Ngayon
estudtyante...........(kahit walang assignment) syettt nakalimutan ko celfone ko!!!
Noon
Wow ang Pogi ni Gabby Concepcion....bagay sila ni Sharon Cuneta.
Ngayon
Ang Gwapo Ni Doreimon....naging magboyfrend kaya sila ni Novita.
Noon
Pen-pen de sarapen de kutsilyo de almasen...
Ngayon
tetetetetetetteteteex....
Noon
Pangarap ng bata........maging sundalo para ipagtanggol ang sariling bansa
Ngayon
Maging senador.......para palaging nasa TV
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