A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch...you may choose any man from a particular floor,
or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to
exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely
good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the
building, and have a nice day!
Monday, March 17, 2008
WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE: :
DAD'S Pride
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working
at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics
and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder
and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy.
He started working for a big airline, he then went to flight school to become a pilot.
Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority
of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and
became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now
a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend
for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom
and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons...
What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he's lucky, too.
His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion,
a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
Did You Know... ?
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....................)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Leia Mais…Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos
Host : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.
Host : What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant : Uhmm...taptoy.
Host : What taptoy?
Male Contestant : Taptoy na teddy bird.
Host : What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host : Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl : Uhmm more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....
Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)
The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo" and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts,CITYYYYYYYY!!!!
(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host : Anong gusto mo paglaki mo?
Girl : Maging lalaki po!
Host : Who's your favorite author?
Contestant : Danielle Steele
Host : Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant : Because, because Danielle Steele, I like best.
Host : How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
Host : So tell us, why did you join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't why, why can't I!
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
(From gay beauty contest)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
(From gay contest)
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga po ulit yung question?
Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying Time is gold! Time is gold!â€)
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)
Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.
Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Uhmm... a bumble bee!
Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl ! : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
WAG MADUMI ISiP!!!
Famous Lines
"pinapaikot mo lang ako
Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang
patayin mlo na lang ako"
-electric fan
"hindi lahat ng walang salawal
ay bastos"
-winnie d' pooh
"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad
kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo.
pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"
-ipis
"Hala! sige magpakasasa ka!
Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo."
-hipon
"Ayoko na! pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang
maraming tao ang nagagalit! wala ba akong
karapatang magmahal?!?"
-gasolina
"Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya."
-plema
"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sau
ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao
ganun mo na lang ako itanggi.."
-utot
"Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong
pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako."
-Bola
"you never know what you have
till you lose it.
and once you lose it, you can never get it back"
-snatcher
"Hindi lahat ng pink, KIKAY!"
-majinboo
"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka
mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa?
bakit palipat-lipat ka?
-TV
"hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin c"
-kili kili
Sige, batihin mo ako.... Sigeee.....BATEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
-omelette
pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!
-libag
"wag mo na akong bilugin.."
-kulangot
Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?
-Lego
"hindi lahat ng dugo puedeng idonate"
-regla
Microsoft Magic
this is pretty cool... haha ! !! enjoy
MAGIC #1
An Indian discovered that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the
computer which can be named as "CON". This is something pretty cool...and
unbelievable... At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this
happened!
TRY IT NOW ,IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1.) Open an empty notepad file
2.) Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
3.) Save it as whatever you want..
4.) Close it, and re-open it.
is it just a really weird bug? :-??
MAGIC #3
Microsoft¡¯s crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable... At Microsoft
the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian.. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
And then press ENTER
then see the magic................................
Friday, March 14, 2008
Math 101
mhyke: magkano yung 300 globe prepaid?
tindera: 295 po.
mhyke: sige po, pabili.
sabay abot ko ng 500 pesos. matagal akong tinitigan ng tindera. "puzzled ang mukha nya". iniisip ko kung naasar sya dahil buong 500 ang perang inabot ko. kaya sabi ko, eto na lang ang
baryang 300. pero ganun pa rin ang mukha nya. matagal na nakatingin sa akin at hindi inaabot ang 300.
n.ub: may problema po ba?
bandang huli, kinuha rin nya ang 300 at humanap ng......
calculator.
300-295=5
______________________________________
ang ibang mga grade schoolers na kilala ko, nag-uumpisa nang
magsolve ng mga complex algebra problems. sa isang banda,
nakalulungkot isipin na may mga kabataan tayong hirap sagutin kung
magkano ang sukli sa 300-295.
sabi sa isang artikulo ng Samahang Demokratikong Kabataan:
"Iskul Bukol" Ganito maisasalarawan ang kalagayan ng edukasyon sa
bansa. Kulang na kulang sa pondo ang mga pampublikong paaralan.
Sobra-sobra ang pagtaas ng matrikula at iba pang mga singil sa
pribadong mga paaralan. --- Ang "Iskul Bukol" na Sistema ng
Edukasyon.
Masisisi mo ba ang mga taong mayaman na lalong yumayaman? Sila ang
nakakakuha ng magandang edukasyon dahil sila ang may kapasidad na
magpadala ng mga anak sa mga pridadong eskwelahan.
Lalo nga bang naghihirap ang mga mahihirap dahil napipilitang
patigilin sa pag aaral ang mga anak na sya pa namang inaasahang mag
aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan?
Kabataan daw ang pag-asa ng bayan. Pero kung hindi sila mabibigyan
ng tamang karapatan upang mag-aral, paano na ang kinabukasan ng
bansa?
Reporma sa edukasyon, napapanahon na nga ba?
Kung may babaguhin ka sa kasalukuyang sitwasyon ng edukasyon- ano
ang dapat na unahin?
seryosong usapin. sana ay bigyang pansin nating lahat
Kawawang Pilipinas
Habang naghihintay ng masasakyan sa Airport, pagkatapos kong ihatid
ang kaibigan kong paalis ng bansa napansin ko ang isang Hapon na
nakaupo sa may gutter sa isang shed malapit sa Centennial Terminal
at mukhang problemado. Nilapitan ko ang Hapon at tinanong sa
wikang ingles. Pero mukhang hindi nakakaintindi ng wikang ingles ang
Hapon. Mabuti na lang at dati akong pipi kaya may background ako sa
pagsasign language.
Tinanong ko ang Hapon sa wikang Niponggo yun nga lang sa sign
language din. Napag-alaman ko na nawawala pala siya at naiwan siya
ng mga kasama niya at di niya alam kung nasaan na ang mga kasama
niya. Tinanong ko siya kung paano siya nakapunta doon sa Centennial
pero di ko maintindihan kung ano ang sinasabi niya. Mabuti na lang at
ipinakita niya ang plane ticket niya. At napag-alaman ko na nung araw
na yun na din pala ang flight niya.
Mabuti na lang at may dumaan na Airport Police Mobile at ito ay pinara
ko. Pero nakita ko ang takot sa mukha ng Hapon at para bang
nakakita ng impakto! Pinakiusapan ko ang pulis na kung maaaring
ihatid ang Hapon sa Terminal 1 dahil doon ang flight niya. Pumayag
naman ang pulis. Kaya dali-dali kong kinausap ang hapon sa sign
language pa din na sumakay na sa patrol car at ihahatid siya sa
terminal.
Todo ang pagtanggi ng hapon na magpahatid sa pulis at mukhang
umikot ng 180 degrees ang ulo niya na parang "Exorcism of Emily
Rose¡¨ lang. Gusto ko sana magpatawag ng pari nung panahon na
yon para malabanan ang masamang espiritung tila sumanib sa Hapon.
Pero, imagination ko lang pala ang pag-ikot ng ulo niya. Ayaw niya
lang pala talaga sumakay sa patrol car. Choosy???
Nagpasalamat na lang ako sa pulis at sinabi ko na ayaw ng Hapon.
Sinabi na lang ng pulis na, "Akala niya siguro pare-pareho kami¨
Binalikan ko ang hapon at sinabi ko sa kanya na sumabay na lang siya
sa akin at ako na lang ang maghahatid sa kanya sa terminal. Dumukot
siya sa bulsa at naglabas ng pera na hindi ko alam kung yen ba o yung
tinatawag nilang "Lapad" na para bang nagsasabing wala siyang peso
at yun lang ang pera niya. *Naintindihan ko yun, multilingual ako e. Sa
sign language nga lang!
Binigyan ko siya ng 7.50 at pumara ako ng dyip. Nagmamadaling
sumakay ang Kumag! Itinuro ko na lang sa Hapon kung saan siya
bababa dahil hindi rin naman ako makakapasok sa loob ng terminal
dahil hindi naman ako pasahero at hindi rin empleyado.
Bakit kaya ganun na lang ang reaksyon ng Hapon sa Pulis at parang
takot na takot siya?
Di lang "Abduction¨ kay Lozada ang nangyari dyan sa Airport
Kwento ko sa inyo kung ano ang ibang pinagkakakitaan ng mga Airport
Police dyan sa Airport Makinig kayo mga bata
Noong unang panahon may isang Pinay na nangarap na makarating ng
Japan para mabilhan ng color tv at betamax ang kanyang tatay at
make-up (isang box, galling Japan!!!) naman para kay nanay pinalad
na makapagtrabaho sa Japan bilang isang entertainer at nakapag-
asawa ng Hapon.
Bumalik ang babae na maputi na ang balat dahil naliligo daw sila sa
gatas at kulay blonde na ang buhok. Tuwang-tuwa ang tatay niya dahil
hindi betamax ang pasalubong ng anak kundi "LAPAD¨ at DVD na, si
Nanay natuwa din at very proud sa anak dahil nakapag-asawa ng
Hapon.
Noong panahon daw ng Hapon sabi ng lola ko, kapag nakakakita sila
ng Hapon, nagtatago sila at sumisigaw pa ng, Magtago kayo,
nandyan na ang mga Hapon.¨ Ngayon daw, ang mga nanay pa
mismo ang nagsasabi Anak, pumunta ka ng Japan, doon maraming
Hapon.¡¨
Mabalik tayo sa kwento ko hinanap ng mga magulang ang manugang
na Hapon. Sinabi ng anak na darating daw sa susunod na linggo.
Dumating ang araw ng pagdating ng Hapon at sumama ang buong
angkan ng babae sa pagsundo sa airport. Pero nakatanggap ang
babae ng tawag sa celfone na nakadetain daw ang Hapon dahil isa daw
itong Yakuza at kaya daw siyang tulungan ng taong nakausap niya na
nagpakilalang isang airport police para marelease ang asawa niya
kapalit ng 2 LAPAD!
Sa takot ng babae na mapahamak ang asawa, at kahit alam niya na
hindi ito Yakuza, nagbigay ang babae ng pera at presto! Nasundo niya
ang asawang Hapon and they live happily ever after.
Yan lamang po ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit malaki ang kita ng
mga kasamahan nating airport police. Kawawang mga Hapon at
nagiging source of income pa ng ibang mga negosyanteng airport
police na ang pangunahing pinagkakakitaan ay "EXTORTION"
Yan muna ang kwento ko mga bata Sana ay may natutunan kayo
Kawawang Pilipinas basa na naman ang papel!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Take Me 'Higher'
Posted by leavingxnostalgia on 2008/2/5 22:32:38 (50 reads)
I really am bored this midnight. So, I sneaked four sticks of Marlboro Lights and a lighter out from Dad’s pants, grabbed my mp4 and half-charged cell phone then went out to look for a dark and cozy place to puff my lungs out.
Call it time killing. Chilling (and yes there were fogs!), I lighted one stick and covered the others behind my thin shirt. It was freezing; it chills me to the bone. Good thing I have fire in my mouth, nothing to worry about, I’m burning, sweating.
Puff. Puff. Puff.
My parents did not even tell me not to smoke, no words of warning or anything. And when one day I asked them if I could smoke, just once to feed my curiosity, they said yes. I was 14 back then. I tried. It feels like heaven, now I got the idea why they always smoke, it is because of the odd feeling of being very light and high and all. That is the point I have decided I should try it some other time, some other when my mom’s not around.
Puff. Puff.
My mom and dad were chain smokers. Mom prefers Winston; my Dad puffs Marlboro. And, I smoke both Winston and Marlboro, depends on the availability, of course. I am not after the brand, honestly, but the unexplainable sensation it brings; whenever I smoke, I feel very overexcited and numb and carefree and very light and oh-so-high and as if it was a perpetual bliss, it was messiah, a guilty pleasure. I never do this just to be “in”. That’s stupid. I smoke for my personal gains, not for the tobacco firms nor for the drunkard next-door. As Frank Lloyd Tiongson of Phil. Collegian quoted “The product of tobacco industry, is not the cigarette, but the smoker.” which is unquestionable.
However, behind every packet of cigarettes prevails the real score: no single brand of cigarette can turn back time, worse, lung diseases and complications. I have understood it very well that smoking can lead to several ailments of the heart and lungs, and the fact that smoking brings no good is apparently lucid to me.
Puff.
It is with no doubt that, if I could give you 10 reasons why to smoke, you can counter me with your 10,000 reasons why to quit smoking. I have not experienced withdrawal syndrome since the start of my puff craving, that is why I am trying hard not to perceive cigarettes as an escapist’s mean of going higher. I know I can make it coz I have lived many years cigar-independently.
It was a Saturday afternoon, but still nostalgia punctuates my yearning for a single puff. See, I have survived many hours without it, not until the devil in me shouts for a stick of Marlboro or Winston, or just anything.
PS. There was an ongoing burial at this moment. Happy trip to Randy Fortuno, our neighbor, who have died because of stomach ailment at the young age of 17. Though we are not the shoulder-to-shoulder friends and we merely see each other, you have left me a lesson, that is to appreciate life. And that, I think, is a compelling reason to quit smoking. See you. You’ll be remembered.
The Frogs Who Desired A King
This is the story of frogs who lived in a pond. They lead peaceful enough lives and spent their livelong day leaping from one lotus leaf to another and croaking the same gossips with each other day after day. They, as all creatures are, lived under constant fear of the dangers that an awesome and despotic Mother Nature holds over them. But that’s life.
It would have been fine if life continued as it did but it was not to be because the frogs, after a while, became discontented with the tedium that they had to go through each day. So they called out to the mighty god Zeus to send them a king who can change their boring and tiresom existence. Now, the deities during that time were not of the benevolent kind. Zeus who was the mightiest of them all was whimsical and prone to playing cruel pranks to the mortal creatures in their midst. Zeus was amused by the frogs’ request and playfully sent down a big log crashing down their pond and with a thunderous voice said “Behold your King!” The splashing entrance of their new monarch terrified the frogs and most of them cowered and hid under the lotus leaves and reeds that lined the pond. After a while, seeing that the log just stayed there unmoving except for occasional undulations they swam towards it and climbed up, warily at first but finding that the King was an unmoving, ineffective and unthreatening ruler they all burst in exhuberant and anarchic show of disrespect. They again troubled Zeus with a request to find them another king since this one was ineffectual and did not help improve their lot. Annoyed by this incessant discontent Zeus sent a stork who in no time at all gobbled up the frogs in the pond. The frogs cried out to Zeus to send them another king but to this the god of gods refused.
The simple moral of this fable is “be careful with what you wish for”.
How aptly this fable applies to us Filipinos except that in our case after rejecting the harmless but ineffective ruler Zeus sent us hungry storks in succession each one more avid and rapacious than the ones before. The moral lesson to us is “wala kang kadaladala”.
No wonder Some of the frogs finding the situation unbearable leapfrogged to other ponds where they stayed, although as second class reptiles, but unthreatened by the spectre of a gigantic stork whose appetite for frog’s legs is insatiable.
THE EPITOME OF OUR TIME:
ARE WE ON THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE?
CRISIS: opposition to steal presidency, the undying issues on jueteng, scandals and other issues that rocks the nation or at least turned senate and congress into investigative bodies from its legislative nature, plus the numerous news on kidnappings, criminality and irritating chatters from the entertainment world. These were the issues that drafted our country’s history during the last decade.
No doubt these dominates most of printed and broadcast media today…. For this is where our society is driving us. Issues that rock our ears and more drastically – the egos of those marked personalities. Nevertheless all of these have nothing to do to improve our country, but all were to degrade this floral nation…
We are the Filipinos. Our forefathers take pride of this race. They elevated this name and gained respect from their neighbors, even before Magellan reached our soil. Chinese and Indians were then happy to trade with them. Adversaries came and that challenged their time.
Century ago, Filipinos were almost treated slaves by Spaniards, and our great grandfathers dreamed and fought for freedom. The Americans conquered us and our folks dreamed and asked for freedom. More eloquently, thousands of them died during battle against Japanese for they have dreamed to gain this diamond that we are supposed to enjoy this time. They never stopped until that dream was turned into reality- our nation was freed. It’s their legacy towards us to live with freedom as a republic.
But now, where are we footing? There must be continuity of dreaming as a nation. We must not stop in here and waste those heroics and martyrdoms. Our nation must not turn down and divide neither rise against itself. We should be a one nation that is dreaming for more...
Political leaders should stop politicking! The government must focus on economics. Legislative bodies should make laws pertaining to it. The administration must implement. Fellow Filipinos should be empowered in health, in education and in opportunities here in our country.
No matured man is being guided by a nanny, so as a great nation should stand on its feet.
Our Philippines should change perspective and so as its focus. Not only in government but also to every Filipinos whom are now free.
No one in an island can view its total picture except those looking on top. Our nation is beyond all those negative news, events and impressions. Most of them were only happening in some of its thousand islands, thus it’s not the totality of the whole. There is definitely a lot more in this country!
The government should lead to develop more our land and those lying in it and those around it. After all, we should never forget that we remain as an agricultural country – we must live in it Agriculture is a concrete food supply while technology brings leisure.
-Lito Amparo
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
henry sy story
Dream… it’s free… anyone can dream… but only a few can make their dreams a reality.
On May 20th 2006, I’m a witness to the realization of one of the dreams of a visionary, Mr. Henry Sy Sr. Tagged as one of the richest man in the world and shopping mall magnate in the Philippines.
‘Twas the soft opening of Mall of Asia, the dream of a man who was once a poor boy who moved to the Philippines from China when he was 13 years old, hoping for better life. His hope was rocked by the onset of world war 2. But this did not affect him from pursuing his dream, he believed that there is opportunity from every tragedy–
After the war, he started selling shoes along the streets of Azcarraga (CM Recto) and soon he got an opportunity to have a shoe store along Avenida Rizal in 1958.
The Shoe Store expanded and have several outlets and became a soft goods Department Store in 1972, the year martial law was declared. 3 years after, it became a full line dept. store– made known as SM ShoeMart, We’ve Got It All For You!
In the 80’s, when Ninoy Aquino was assassinated, and the Phils. is rocked by political and economic crisis, SM ventured into another unknown and spearheaded the “malling phenomena” — The birth of the first SM Mall (though not the first mall in the Philippines), SM City North EDSA. Taunted and predicted to fail, SM City became and still one of the strongest SM Mall in terms of foot traffic and revenues.
Again, when the Philippines is in the midst of another crisis brought by high fuel prices and political problems, SM opened Mall of Asia. Undaunted by negative publicity, it was inaugurated on May 20, 2006 and opens its doors to the public on May 21, 2006.
Leia Mais…Business 101
I just wanted to share this to you, hoping it might interest everyone from putting their own businesses.
I’ve known a guy who had a hard time getting some finances to fund his study. And eventually have learned that he stopped going to school. Few months passed, he started to bring in meryenda to school teachers and students at a school were my mom was teaching. Like Bananaque kamote que and related Filipino Favorites. I sometimes talk to him a bit, but he doesn’t talk that much, but smiles a lot. He seems to have a lot of courage within him, you can tell just by merely looking at him. He seldom frown, and i often see him smiling at people even if he doesn’t know them. We’ll i’m quite thinking that might have been an attitude possessed by a salesman. Being friendly.
I made my way to college, and my mom still teaching in grade school, i still visit her on their school when i need some money to buy some school requirements or to get some allowance. I still see him around the school selling meryendas both for students and teachers.
Years have passed, i graduated with a Bachelors degree in computer science. One day i ‘ve decided drop by my mom’s school. Didn’t noticed the guy i used to see selling his meryendas. I am thinking that he might already have taken some jobs or something.
I got my first job as a technical support in a local ISP in Baguio. I accepted the job even with a very low salary. By then i wasn;t thinking about earning that much, i was just interested in learning more.
I went home one day and was a little hungry, saw some deliciously looking banana cake laying on the table. Took some and taste good. I asked mom where she bought it. She said she bought it from the guy who ussually sell meryendas on their school. T’was the guy who used to sell bananaques and kamote ques.
I wasn’t surprised that he might sell new stuffs, it’s normal for a saleman. What surprises me is when my mom told me that this guy already owned a bakery near his house. Wow! the guy who used to sell kamote ques was able to put up a bakery by simply selling from kids.
Now i still see him selling these things. Even until owning a bakeshop. I saw him in a bus terminal one time. I don;t think he remembers me. I just smiled and said. How’s life? he said. “eto, nagbebenta pa rin ng kahit ano ano…”, then i asked “di ba you own a bakery sa trinidad na? bakit naglilibot libot ka pa ren?”… he just smiled …
I’m not really good a telling stories but i hope this one would inspire some. One question might arise from the story is that, why would he still be selling on his own, when he already own a bakery? I’ve just learned from him that, it was already almost part of his life, and makes him happy selling these cakes himself. He can actually gather feedbacks at once directly from clients. He will know if there is something wrong on the products he is selling, and the like. From these information he is able to provide better tasting cakes for his clients.
Building your business is not simply putting up a product that you think sells. You need to research and get in touch with your market and learn what they really need. A good product in the US might not be a good product in the Philippines. One good example is when you think of selling knitted jackets in metro manila, or in some other warm places. This might be a good business in cold places but not in warm areas.
Friday, March 7, 2008
A minority of lawyers
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word , taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Funny and true!!
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty -year -old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
____________________________________________
And the best for last
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
where is my gas tank lid?
The Worlds Best Kept Auto Secret
I have been driving (legally) for two decades. One would think I would have noticed the little secret on my dash that was staring me right in the face the whole time. I didn't and I bet you probably haven't either.
Quick question, what side of your car is your gas tank? If you are anything like me, you probably can't remember right away. My solution is to uncofortably stick my head out the window, strain my neck and look. If you don't do this in your own car you definetly have done it in a borrowed or rental car.
Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to share with you my little secret so you will no longer look like Ace Ventura on your way to the gas station or put your neck at risk of uncomfort or injury.
If you look at your gas guage, you will see a small icon of a gas pump. The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump. If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left. If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo above). It is that simple!
I don't know how you feel right now but when I found out this morning I felt cheated!
Why don't the dealers share such importnant information with car buyers? I don't understand why this isn't in the drivers ed manual? I don't get why any mechanic I have ever been too or know has even thought of mentioning this to me? The only possible explantion can be that all these people probably don't even know!
Go out and share the worlds best kept auto secret with your friends as this is information is way too important to be kept secret. 
E-mail...do you have?
Something to share....
A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The
HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a
test.
"You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send
you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email".
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means
you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only
$10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supe! rmarket and buy a
10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In
less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the
operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that
he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and
return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet
of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life
insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the
conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied, "I don't have an email."
?
The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and ye! t have
succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could ha ve been
if you had an e mail?!!"
?
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at
Microsoft!"
Moral of the story
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard and smart, you can be a
millionaire.
M3- If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an
office boy/girl, than a millionaire ...
P.S - Do not forward this email back to me, I am closing my email &
going to sell tomatoes!!!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
buhay talaga ng tao...
ang init...halos tatlong oras na kong naglalakad..naghahanap ng trabaho sa isang industrial park sa laguna..ang dami ko nang interview na pinagdaanan..pero palaging nagaantay yata ako sa wala.....palaging sinasabi na..."congratulation...you have qualified..wait for our call for your final interview" pero kapag nag follow up na ko...sasabihin...masyadong mataas ang experience ko para sa posisyon na inaaplyan ko...binawasan ko na din mga nakalagay sa resume ko...ganun pa din resulta...ayun may hiring.....kahit mahaba pila..pagtiyagaan ko na.
wala din nangyari...antagal kong nag antay... tatawagan nanaman...nwawalan na ko ng pag asa...di ko maintindihan mga tao....katulad ng mga taong nakasalubong ko kanina.."ibagsak ang sakim na kapialista" sigaw nila....teka..matanong ko nga...kayo ba namuhunan sa negosyo nila...bakit parang feeling nyo sa inyo na yung kumpanya..."pataliskin ang pangulo!!" sigaw nung isa.naghihirap daw sila dahil sa pangulo...kung nagtratrabaho ba sila para di mabawasan ang sweldo nila eh di mas maganda diba? bibili na nga lang ako skyflakes pang tanghalian....pamasahe din yung matitira para buksa hindi na ko hihingi ng pamasahe nakakahiya na eh....
kamusta apply mo...tanong ng asawa ko, ok lang...tatwagan na lang daw ako. di ako makatingin ng derecho sa mata nya..nahihiya kasi ako..walang pangbigay kahit pang kendi manlang. "pumunta nga pala yung may ari ng apartment..naniningil na...nasa ref nga pla yung disconnection notice ng kuryente"............nanlalaki na ulo ko..sasabog na yata sa dami ng problema...gusto ko ng mwala..mawala ng parang bula...minsan naisip ko, may naagrabyado ba ako? may nagawa ba akong malaking kasalanan bakit parang pabulusok pababa ang nararanasan naming mag asawa..dalawang taon pa lng kami...di ko p yta cya nabibigyan ng gihawa ng buhay.
Madami akong panlaban sa problema.....sinasabi ko na lang "When there's nothing to turn to..I've got prayers on my side"......o kaya...di ko sinasabi na "lord...i have a big problem..." ....sasabihin ko..."problem I've got my big GOD..."anjan cya para magbigay ng pag asa.
cge..alis na muna ako..mag iimpake....pinapalayas na kami sa inuupahang apartment...salamat sa pagdalaw kaibigan...
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