kwento ng QA sa Call Center

TSR: “Alright, we’re going to perform a checkdisk. That is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K…”
Customer: “What is that again?”
TSR: “C-H-K-D-S-K…that is… C as in Charlie…H as in Harley…K as in Karley…D as in Darley…S as in Sarley…and K as in Karly.”

CSR: “I was hoping you can take this survey with me. Would you have the time to do that, sir?”
Customer: “How long is this gonna to take?”
CS: “Mmm.. MGA three minutes….”
*slip of the vernacular*

TSR: “It’s C as in CAT.”
Customer: “What?”
TSR: “C as in CAT. C-A-T…meow meow…”

Josue: Here with our company, you’ll get clear voice quality…there no
zzzzhhhoooommmm(Pertaining to static) Bigla ba naman gumamit ng SFX…..

CX: That’s Great!
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Josue: It’s Very easy to install. Its like eating french fries as easy as one , two, three.

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Josue: THank you for having business with us. Have a nice Life!

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CSA: Thats N for nancy, the number zero, then V for Victor and then L ( Napaisip ata kasi new hire palang) ahhh, uhmm, L as in LIEMPO!

Customer: whats liempoh?

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TSR: 0kay sir, Let's check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0 g0 0nLine n0w...
CUST: yes... (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng HAPON na it0... )
TSR: type in www.yahoo.com
CUST: what? yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... yahoo.com...
CUST: yahoo.cot?
TSR: n0 sir... com... C-O-M
CUST: cot?
TSR: (asar na) .com sir!
CUST: aahhh... yahoo.cot.

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CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)

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CS: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?
Cust: Uhhmmm... how about "B" as in boy...
(good choice...)
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CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou get git?)
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CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there?
Cust: Yes, yes, I'm there!
(siguro naglalaro sila ng Counter...)
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CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?
Cust: Huh?... Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER here...
(... makes sense to me!!!)
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TS: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?
Cust: What?!!
TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir... Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?...
(klap! klap! klap!)
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ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)
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CS: ...That's E as in I-KOW... (echo)
(oki lang yan, Dong...)
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CS: Come again, sir?!!!
Cust: Oh sure, baby!!!
(negro siguro kausap neto...)
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TS: Ok, sir, this is ano... what you'll do... you have to type the ano...the command run and ano...
(...teypows enow???)
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Cust: So, do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
CS: Sir, the package has been delivered and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule...
(... I can PEEL it!!!)

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CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please???
Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE...
(ay shyet, ulet!!!)
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local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas...
Cust: hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Cust: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Cust: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Cust: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Cust: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote... tsk, tsk, tsk...)
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TS: Ok, sir... Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?...
(... lemme try...)
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Cust (US): So how's the weather there?
CS: Well... it's kinda cloudy today, sir...
Cust: Oh really?!!!... So where are you located?
CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!...
(... dats nir Mexico...)